that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
