and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
