Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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