Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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