I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
