'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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