so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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