she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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