ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
