If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
