my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
