Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
