I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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