It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
