No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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