I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
