If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
