Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
