Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
