Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
