my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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