So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
