So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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