Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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