he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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