Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
