i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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