Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize