K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
