Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
not ubering you a puppy
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