so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
