You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
