The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
