I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
