I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
