i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
