it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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