Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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