Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
