I'm really into asian looking animals
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
