doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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