just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
