She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
