Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need to calm my uterus...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize