it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
