I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
