check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
