I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
