Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I stole a fireplace last night.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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