It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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