Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
