I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
dude i'm inner monologue high
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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