I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
