i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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