New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize