The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
