I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
