After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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