No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
