Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
