you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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