I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize