apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
