you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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