i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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