She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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