big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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