Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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