do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
