we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
